When do you know when you've got yourself a date?
I met a guy - we'll call him Matt, through a close friend of mine at the end of July at a cocktail party. The three of us had casual conversation for a couple of hours and discussed getting together again for drinks. We were all pretty booked with busy work schedules and summer plans, so the next time we all met for drinks was sometime near the end of September.
We discussed exes, breakups - not wanting anything serious for a long time...the next person we date - more than likely being a rebound for Matt, etc. We all took turns paying for drinks and talked about trying to be better about meeting up more often. Matt emailed my friend and said he had fun at drinks and we should all get together again - but he didn't send me anything, she simply informed me of his message.
I emailed Matt a few weeks later to schedule a time to get-together for drinks again. This time, it ended up being just Matt and I sometime early November. I paid for the first round because I owed him from the last time we had drinks. We were well on our way to a great friendship; knew details of past relationships, parents, schooling....not once did he seem interested in anything other than a friendship. Once again, we promised to try to be better about contacting one another.
I ended up texting him a week or so later and we made tentative plans to grab drinks after the Thanksgiving holiday. Now - keep in mind, we have probably contacted each other a little over a hand-full of times in three months. After Thanksgiving, I get a text saying he hasn't forgotten about tentative drinks but is busy for the week - let's grab dinner Monday night? I wasn't sure how to respond but Monday didn't work either way - I let him know any other night would work better apart from Monday. He chose Thursday and said he would be down around my house that day - why not just pick me up at my house at 7:30? I said, hey why not - perfect!
This is just dinner to me. Friends having dinner - this is not a date, right? When I share this information with co-workers, colleagues and friends - they all have the same reaction: they laugh at me and say it's a date and I feel really, very naive.
So what constitutes a date these days? I am making a check list of what would be a date if it "WERE" actually a date. First off, do you walk to her door when you arrive at the house? Do you open the car door? How about restaurant door - because that is just a polite gesture. Does the location of dinner count ? - does it matter how nice it is or if it's just a pub? If he pays - does that automatically qualify that it is an "actual date?" If he brings me back home and drops me off -- clearly that is "just friends". If he walked me to my door- I think that would be a date.
So what would make this more than just a friendly dinner. . . I don't yet have the answers or the determining factors narrowed down... but for now, I am sticking with friends having dinner. I guess we will see what actually happens tonight.
