Uncovered

I folded into myself
And let the edges begin to crumble
I put my feelings on a shelf
You left me broken and humble
Hidden behind a locked door
No way of escape
Lying motionless on the floor
With no form or shape
You cracked my shell
And uncovered a secret
That is the moment I fell
And you didn't even care to keep it
Who are you that you did this
And what did you do with my friend
It all started with just one kiss
Then came to a devastating end
Now I am so jaded
I almost borderline hate you
What we had faded
Nothing you said was true
Because you are a liar
You have no idea who you are
Put me down to bring you higher
Always pushing me too far
I hope that someday you understand
And reveal all that you hid
Come to me molded into a man
And apologize for what you did

Grasp

when you walked into my life / something happened to all the pain and strife / you reached into my soul and pulled out all the black / saw the real me - and you held nothing back / you enveloped me / into something that will develop successfully / you hold my hand when we are apart / showing me life and love are nothing but a form of art / the beauty you speak to me / courses through my veins freely / until I see your face again / all I do is try to describe you with my pen / but in the light / I remember it's not right / what it's like when you are there / nothing will ever compare / you keep me grounded / and sometimes I'm dumbfounded / by your grace and your beauty / what is this you do to me / a life with you / is unlike anything I ever knew / now I know why we have to stay friends / because darkness would cloud my sky if this came to an end / although we are walking on thin ice / the balancing act is just part of the fight / we have to hold on to this / wrap up in each other with clinched fists / holding it all in or letting it all go / doesn't matter with you - it's like we share a soul / knowing and growing / sewing and throwing / the life I had before you / out - because it would do nothing but bore you / hold me - know me - show me / how you grow me / because you have captured me / frozen in a figure that you know better than me / all the ins and outs of me / you can see / but when I try to catch up - I end up a mess / all confused and under stress / how can I make you grasp this concept / no one has ever reached me at this depth

Note to my Co-Existence

I just wanted to be there for you unlike anyone ever had been. I guess the thought of being that person to you made it all better for me. I wanted to drop it all when you came to me. Get lost and entangled in your problems and work through them with you. You are that important to me; so precious and insecure in every way. You are my opposite and my same. So much of you is me in every way, but then there is the you that is in between all of it. I know you feel lost and confused, but the reality of it all is that we all do. Everyone out there, every face you see has their own mystery. They are lost and wondering if the path they are taking is going to get them to their own happiness...to a place of joy. I just want you to know when you come to me that you aren't alone. Often times, I feel insignificant and unworthy of you coming to me for advice -- because the right words always seem to escape my mind. I am sorry I do not have all the answers, but I do have love for you unlike any other love I've ever known. It's a specific kind of love just for you and it is yours for the taking. I hope that it saves you. I hope that somehow it comforts you. I don't always have the answers, but sometimes it isn't about the answer, but the question..... And why you would ask yourself or ever feel unworthy of the world, because you really do deserve it. Dreams are only dreams; but you do have the ability to make them reality and I know you of all people can find them, and you can find your peace and happiness with them. My wish is that you would stop using the world as your compass and use your heart. I know it's made and occupied by the right things of existence. When you doubt -- know that I am here. When you fear -- know that you have someone bigger than me to fulfill you. When you question -- come to me for comfort. But above it all, know that you have a place in heaven. Know that you are loved and accepted. Know that you are unique -- and absolutely breathtaking because of all the things that make up exactly who you are. I love you. I am always here. Your closest forever. In love, Me.

Consumed

I want to take one breath
And hold all of you inside
Learn how you feel within me
Go on a wild ride
I want to be the wind you feel, when it hits your skin
I want to know what sugar tastes like on your tongue
I want to be let in
I want to know how you breathe
And what translates in the air
Between the neurons in your head
I want to feel you everywhere
I want to feel all that you feel
I want you to close your eyes
And let me help you heal
I want to be surrounded in your pain
Let all the frustrations pour
Scream at the top of your lungs
Until you don't hurt anymore
I want the good and the bad
The pain and the beauty
The love and the hate
The dark and the ugly
When it comes to me
I want you to show me every piece of you
Because every bit of me
Wants to be consumed by all of you

The Bugs that Crawl Under My Skin

Can't you see your hurting me
Why can't you feel my pain
You're okay just letting it be
While I am going insane

Your pride is blinding
It won't let you feel
I wish that time was rewinding
So that somehow this wouldn't be real

I want to take back that first kiss
Forget that I ever loved you
Remain in the comfort of our friendly bliss
When the words you said were true

Just You

I do not want that guy
I do not want his friend
I do not want your brother
I do not want your friends
I do not want that boy
I do not want that man
I do not want him
I do not want any of them
I only want you

Could You Be Him

What if I took a chance for you
What if I jumped in
Would it mess everything up
Would you still want to be my friend
Would you lay with me all day
When it rained or snowed outside
Allow me to know all of you
Leaving nothing hidden inside
Would you tell me how beautiful I am
Take care of me when I was sick
Make me feel like I was the one girl in 3 billion
The only one you would pick
Could you see your entire life with me
See us old and gray
Fight for us over all else
Never let any one take you away
Would you ask me to marry you
Ask me to be your wife
Be willing to fall head over heels in love with me
To share a life
Would we travel the world together
Every experience brand new
Is this something you can picture with me
Something you would do

Let Me

I am not sure how I got lost and entangled in you, but it happened nonetheless. My life changed from the first instant I found out about you. Deep down I could feel it, but I wasn't sure what it was for. And now, eleven months later -- I am more at a loss of why it was you were to come into my life and change everything I ever thought about the world. The emotions I feel have changed in different ways, but not the most important one. That deep down feeling that I had-- has not only increased, but has revealed that you are who I want and in many ways. I feel that you were made for me. The parts that I don't understand are all the actions and reactions outside the realm of the self. They tease and consume me in utter frustration as to why they are chosen. Why you won't allow me to love you. Why you won't allow me in.

Too Focussed?

It's like staring at something -- and you are focussed so much on your thought -- you had no idea what was actually there. Then, with a sudden movement -- it's gone. And everything you thought you just saw is scattered about in a misconcepted confusion -- and then you think to yourself - am I that abstract that I see no detail in my life? --- and by the time I think I am figuring it out; the thing that should have been the biggest and most important sign -- was right there in front of me the whole time. But now it's gone forever . . . until the next to come. Maybe I will see it this time. But. . . it's nothing like the one I just missed - not nearly as fascinating. Not nearly as detailed.

My Greatest Love; Lost.

Closed; but completely full
Of the love that I will never have
Tight and compact
Locked away for someone else
Someone that is in your head
Someone you want
Instead of them wanting you
So many that would love you
But you want someone to love
Something out of reach
To fulfill the desires within
I wish you weren't searching
I wanted to be that for you
Something caught you sometime ago
And now you can't let go
My heart will ache for you
I will long for your love
But it will never come
Because your love is hidden
Drowning some where below
It's lost and can't be found
You have no where to go
Alone. But that's how you wanted it
Alone and confused
But that's how you sought it

What You Did

It crept in my skin
Discreetly found its way in
Unmatched and unpaired
No emotion was spared

Electricity ran through my veins
Like kissing in the pouring rain
The taste of the air felt sweet on my tongue
Made me feel so alive and young

The time filled with many years
Was only to protect you from my tears
You were the other part
The one that would give me a fresh start

An undiscovered emotion
That caused an unexplained commotion
An energy ignited by a spark
You have already left a mark

The wind spoke in the breeze
Whispering to me with ease
We were meant to meet again
For a new life to begin

You were the missing key
The person who would help me see
That i need to let go
Of this so-called self-control

Help me learn and become new
And to give credit where it's due
Hold on to what is real
Let go of all that's surreal

You gave me a new plan
A better way to understand
A hope that was lost
You gave me at no cost

A fragile being waiting to be found
A lost melody; a beautiful sound
A rare jewel waiting to be polished and cut
You are the one, who pulled me out of my rut

My God

Mattering didn't mean much
Until it mattered to you
All the lies were unburied
Revealing something true
It was something that couldn't be touched
But that I had to feel
Lost in history books
Too old to seem real
It opened up new worlds
Possibilities to be explored
Taught me of a love that is real
A Savior who can be adored
I learned that everything is flawed
And people will always fail me
But if I trust in Him
He will set me free
The chains of the world
Would break and release
And one day I would find a heaven
One filled with golden streets
I just have to be patient
And try to learn why I am here
Grow in all He breathes in me
Let go of all I hold dear
Then I would be rewarded
With treasures from up above
A Father that is perfect
Overflowing - everlasting love

An Escape

I found an escape route through a meadow once
I didn't know it then, but it was where the wolf hunts
It led me to a place of infinite secrets
I could only get there through the moon's eclipse
Casting shadows jumped in different hues of gray
Glistening planets splashed on display
I raced around the corner to find a new world
Millions of colors danced and swirled
In the middle, a wolf sat proud
Magnificent and beautiful on an iridescent cloud
She whispered in the wind without making a sound
I could feel magic floating all around
She told me she was my animal spirit
Not to be afraid or to fear it
Her eyes said the most and I felt it in the air
A secret I had discovered, delicate and rare
I drifted into an unknown place
Intoxicated, my heart began to race
I fell onto the cloud and gently bumped my head
And when I woke up, was in my warm comfy bed

A Place to Belong

I followed that life like it was something of a gift to me
Not knowing where I was going, just letting it be
Spiraling down in a distant daydream
My eyes were closed but I could feel everything
A spell fell upon me that put me to sleep
Felt a fluttery inside that made my heart leap
A little shiver awoke me and drifting I went
Floating on a sea of clouds, something heaven-sent
Cool, sweet air flooded through my being
Everything uncovered, clearly seeing
I dissolved into the pure white light
Turned inside out and began my flight
Through the depths of the water consuming my soul
Twisting and turning me, making me grow
Then I landed in a space no longer alone
Exhilarating and amazing, I found my home

New Love in Bloom

I know it's all about the fairytale
It's all about the happy ending
It's the wind that sets your boat a-sail
The kiss that keeps you spinning
The whisper in the wind
That gives you chills down your spine
The spark that ignites your skin
And gives you a new lifeline
It's the glimpse you catch
When you walk into a room
Knowing you've met your match
Finding new love in bloom
It's like they look past your eyes
And deep into your soul
Completely take you by surprise
The puzzle piece that makes your life whole
You fall into the light
Where it is impossible to see
Everything in the world is right
You have set each other free

Sometimes

What if they are out there
And they make you wait
Acting as if they don't care
They keep playing with fate
You see it in their eyes
And you know what they feel
Messing just to get a rise
Even though they know its real
At this point do you let go
Do you make the choice to move on
Take a chance to learn and grow
Refuse to be their little pawn
Is settling sometimes right
Can you let go of that magic
True love falling out of sight
Seems too tragic
Perhaps being loved more
Is a better way to go
Letting your heart fall to the floor
Your emotions overflow
Sometimes you do get the fairytale
And everything is fine
But if it takes too long, should you bail
Regardless of all the signs
Do you stay with the one that makes you crazy
Causes you to lose your breath
Makes everything in life hazy
Even though it scares you to death
Is it okay to settle sometimes
For the one that is ready now
Or is it better to wait for "due time"
And see what that allows

Who I Am to You is Not Who I Am to Me

Like moonlight plays on water, your eyes dance
Make me lose my breath and put me in a trance
They shape me and mold me in between the flecks
Measure me and label me with all different specs
They paint a picture only for your mind
It will always be hidden for no one to find
Doesn't matter what I think or how I see me
All I can ever be to you; is the me you see

Out There

And when you touched my skin
I took a deep breath; and let you in
You make me feel alive
In a way I'll never be able to describe
You folded your warm arms around me
And showed me the depths of you, while setting me free
We tumbled into the unknown
The threads of fate already sewn
They weaved through troubles and hard times
To lead to a day that you would be mine
I didn't realize at the time what the wait was for
But here you are, leaving everything to explore
Lost in a trance that is out of my control
The world could stop and I would never know
Tantalizing thoughts radiate in my mind
Taking over my life- stopping me in time
I used to believe fairy tales weren't true
But everything changed when I found you
I never knew this is what I'd missed
This is the best love to ever exist

Get Out

I lie in your delicate grip
Holding me lightly; you begin to slip
Through the cracks of the walls
Everything is breaking; everything falls
Straining to hold you only made it worse
I am everything that pains you; you are everything that hurts
The quiet escapes of breath are hard to hear
Only suffocating you more when I draw near
Disappearing out of reach into the black seeps
You are all that bothers me; nightmares in my sleep
Bundled and buried in the blankets on my bed
Please let me go; please get out of my head

Dark Dense Cloud

I can no longer sleep but I'm barely awake
What is this predator that has sealed my fate
Dreaming in the daylight with eyes wide open
The parts of me that scream the loudest remain unspoken
Enveloped inside a dark dense cloud
Picturing it clearly being used as my shroud
Everything inside me has been broken
All the ugly remains--everything else has been stolen
Shattered by the realities of a sad world
I remain closed off - my being tightly curled
Alone I came, so I shall stay
Nothing will change my mind or lead me astray
I buried myself with all the lies and deceit
It has killed me--I bow in defeat

I Found You

And with a little bit of patience
I'll find another replacement
I'll dream in deep blue
Until the day I'm over you
The blossoms that swirl
Have begun to make me twirl
In lands lost all around us
I have found nothing to trust
I'm being pulled under the waves
Can't take a breath--can't find escape
Little did I know you were out there in the dark
Lookin' for me too--waiting for a brand new start
I understand now- why it didn't work out with him
I was meant to be with you in the end

*sOmE oRiGiNaL QuOteS*

Everyday is a new day. DO NOT let what happened yesterday - determine who you CAN BE today.



I am not looking for anything serious - BUT - I have been waiting for the person that will change my mind.



It is not with my sight that I see you.



Weakness is good to have at points because it reveals the strength in you that comes after, and that -- after all -- is when you grow.



How on earth have we lost the ability to grasp what love is? If love is the most important thing...how come no one knows what it really is anymore?



Sometimes fear can keep us from the greatest rewards.



You can tell a lot about a person by the questions they won't answer.



Your life is going to happen whether you are on board or not.

Grace

Falling in the spaces that lie in between the hot and cold patches of air
Stuck in the middle between darkness and dispair
Trying to find balance in a world that's unfair
Loss and sorrow; sadness is everywhere
People dispute over gender and race
Who is too ugly--who has the prettiest face
We are falling apart all over the place
Saying no to the purest form of grace
Not realizing that hope has already been found
It has been uncovered and is all around
It's more than a feeling--its more than a sound
It is in the earth and trees-- in everything that surrounds
So close your eyes and see with your heart
Our world is His most beautiful piece of art

Hiding Place

This fascination seems to be taking me places. I get lost in the middle of the mixed melodies. I keep having to search for myself in the middle of it all and pick me up out of it. . . either that-- or realize that is where I am supposed to be at the present moment. I fixate on imaginary things that could be reality--but staying back in the shadows hinders my abilities to know the truth; to learn what is real. I often wonder if the reason I am so afraid of running after facts is that if I were to uncover them - they would crush all my idealistic beauties and I would no longer be as joyful as I am in my ignorance. I live on a constantly changing fence -- where everything on both sides is always changing as well. But how do I decide which side to fall into if the foundation I am on itself is constantly changing? Balancing is a hard concept for me to embrace-- you would think it would be better to run one way and go with it. At least it would be a foundation of choice rather than making none at all and standing waveringly, all alone. Never quite knowing who I am deep down is what seems to be the question of my life. Why I am I always wondering who I am and what I am supposed to be doing and in which direction am I supposed to be headed-- instead of just being? If I am a being and I am "being"-- then I am exactly who I am supposed to be...and thought and rationality really have no need for existence over that. It is simply, how it is, was and will be. I am being who I am. Perhaps the being of indecision is exactly where I am placed at this moment for a purpose. A purpose that will someday reveal itself. Then I will be wondering how I got there in the first place...and somehow...in the vastness of it all - something will bring me back . . . back to this very instant-- and then it will all make perfect sense.

Free

I'm lost in this place
An individual with no escape
Stuck in a vessel that will not last
This life will pass by too fast
Then the self I have will be free
Allowed to express and feel all that is me
Although you think you know who I am
You will never be able to stand where I stand

Jump

And if you asked me
Would I do it all again
I would look in your green eyes
And jump right in
I would whisper in your ear
That I was here to stay
Run into your arms
Be with you night and day
I would never look back
I would never slow down
I want you by my side
I need you to stick around
I know I'm doing the right thing
I know what to do
Because from the very first day
It has always been you